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Yours truly at GDC in 2011
Gaming since before I can remember, working in games since I was 17, I’ve come across a thing or two. Lately, I’ve come across more than two things; it seems everywhere I turn is a new article about sexism in games. Well, I’m here to rip the Band-Aid off. If you’re looking for conclusive, quantified material, I advise you look elsewhere. These are my simple, 24-year-old, 7-years-in-the-industry, female musings.
Anyone who knows me well will attest that I am a relatively objective person, preferring to hunt down facts than jump to rash conclusions. I don’t get offended very easily, preferring to spend my energy elsewhere. As of late, I can’t help but ignore the constant flood of articles about another case of sexism in the game industry. From Josh Mattingly’s advances on “Alice Mercier,” to the recent crumbling of GAME_JAM after a certain remark made to Adriel Wallick. Not to mention, Elizabethe Sampat’s GDC talk two weeks ago all about women working in the industry (or even better, the comments section). And who can forget the whole Anita Sarkeesian thing. It seems as though women are either loosing silently and horribly or have the attention (and potentially the power) of the industry– by the balls.
If you’re reading this, I probably don’t need to defend my case but just to cover my bases, here’s some insight. I’ve worked in many aspects of the industry, from retail to journalism to development to events. With a proven track record of on-air broadcasting, video production, digital art, article writing, community projects, conference attendance, ass-kicking in games, and more, I’ve seen a bit.
Let’s start with some anecdotes:
- I was once asked at a networking event by a VP of a multi-million dollar game company if I wanted to accompany him home after chatting at the event for an hour or so (he confided in me that his wife had recently divorced him).
- One of the most common remarks I received working as a manager in gaming retail “Do you even play games?” or “I’ll wait to ask [the guy].”
- I can’t open my mouth over chat when playing online games unless I’m prepared to get A) hit on B) asked if I am 12 C) targeted in game D) defended in game.
- Much like Alice Mercier, I’ve been “offered” sexual favors in exchange for intel or similar.
- Countless comments on YouTube for any moment my face is on screen. “Ugly, gtfo” “I wish she would shut up and let me stick it in her” … you get the idea.
- I can’t, cannot, hold a conversation with a male in a casual interaction at industry events (usually involving drinks) without constantly keeping myself in check. Have I been flirting? Is he flirting with me? Who is watching and what would they think of how this looks?
- I’ve been asked to stock items that require a ladder by a manager when wearing a skirt.
- Sometimes I avoid revealing my gender where I can simply because I don’t have the energy to deal with the comments of the internet. Because of this, I secretly hate that my gamertag gives it away.
- And we all know how this sounds “You work in games? What do you do?” “(non-developer job)” “OH, so you don’t actually work in games. OK that makes more sense.”
- Countless times I’ve been hit on for whatever reason, and without real cause for upset, at various events.
(I’m lucky that none of these have happened with my current employer)
That’s about all I can think of for now– but you get the idea. So, I’m not here to tell you a sob story about how I want out of games, or how my self-esteem is ruined by misogynists. Quite the contrary, I’m ultimately asking myself: Is this really an issue?
If we’re being totally honest with ourselves, of course it is. Of course Glass Ceilings are wrong. Of course sexism, racism, whatever-ism, is inherently wrong. What I’m seeking to uncover here is really how big of an issue it actually is. Guess what? Other industries experience this. Since the dawn of the working-woman, these are not new issues. Sure, we’re the gaming industry; we’re younger, cooler, more socially awkward. But who is really surprised? I’m not. In fact, sometimes it takes the aforementioned articles to realized I’ve been subjected to sexism in the past.
Who is running away with the issue? Women? Or men?
Maybe I haven’t been at it long enough. Maybe I haven’t spent enough time bawling over ruthless YouTube comments. Maybe I’m a bit too resilient. Maybe I think too much like a boy. Maybe I’m the “cool girl.” (A dumb stereotype, by the way.) Maybe I’m ready to start researching this to uncover just how deep and damaging this runs in the games industry. Not just developers, not just journalists, not just gamers, all aspects.
Do I want you to go out there and be the change? Obviously, but I’m not going to tell you how. Before we all go ranting about how sexist the industry is or how weak (under-qualified, unappreciated, abused, [insert adjective here]) the women who work in it are, I want a solid foundation to build my frame-of-reference on. If not just for me, but for any other young women aspiring to work in games.
I’m going to search the dusty nooks-and-crannies of this industry and others to connect the dots. I want to find out the answers to if and why. I’ll close my eyes and take the plunge into the underbelly of the issue and force it to prove to me that it has a place in this industry.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.Clik here to view.
